I’ve hosted a few visitors from Europe here in Kenya recently which has exposed a bit of a cultural difference: how people make bookings.
In the UK/ Ireland/ Denmark it’s pretty common to now use “a system” when organising things. i.e. you’ll go on a restaurant website and book a table for a certain time. If you need to change the booking, you’ll go back online and make the adjustment there. You then have trust that if you turn up at the revised time, your table will be waiting for you.
In Kenya, because “the system” is less reliable (for a number of technological/ cultural reasons) it’s much more common to organise such things with by talking with a person.
“Where are you? Where are you going?” A common frustration for new arrivals in Kenya is the need to repeat information when ordering an Uber. 98% of the time, once connected, the driver will call you up to confirm where you are.
The first few times, it’s common to respond “erm… just drive towards the pin..?”, but after a while, one learns that explaining with words how to get to the location is just the way it goes.
From the drivers’ perspective, there’s enough reason to doubt the location is wrong, and so they’d rather get confirmation from a person at the end of the phone.
Will we have enough time? On one evening, the visitors and I arranged a boat tour that was scheduled from 4-7pm at which point we’d be dropped at a restaurant.
We could only start at 4.30pm which, interestingly, led to two different reactions.
European residents: does this mean we’ll be late for dinner? Kenyan residents: we’ll just ask the guide to shorten the trip by 30 minutes
I’m not sure if I’ve interpreted this correctly, but my sense is that it at its root, the difference lies in whether someone treats the information they’ve been given from “the system” to be fixed, or whether there’s room for flexibility.
In Kenya, at least, it’s helpful to keep in mind that it’s almost always possible to make something happen, even if the computer says no.
If you find yourself in a situation where “the system” is frustrating you, consider picking up phone.
Last weekend there was in interesting discussion about phrases which now have a completely new meaning.
In 2019, asking someone to drop their pin is (I think) widely understood to mean sending someone your current location.
Even 5 years ago it could’ve been construed as an instruction to fumble your sewing box.
This naturally got us on to other examples of common parlance which would seem nonsensical in previous times.
To “swipe right” being synonymous with rejection, the concept of a “profile picture” and asking “how many followers” someone has.
Almost of all these are using existing words/ concepts, but applied to new technology.
As technology advances, existing words are used to explain them, but there will always a slight misalignment. As time goes on, the new application for the word may assume what the technology does, as opposed to its previous definition.
An example of this is computer.
Back in Alan Turing days a computer described a job function.
It was someone’s job to… well, compute things. A very typical conversation might be:
“How was your day at work?” “Very good thanks, had a lovely chat with the new computer, she started last week”.
What gets strange in this example is that the word “chat” is in the middle of a transformation from one of a human-human interaction to one that also includes communication between human and machine.
In a few years, that particular phrase may well make perfect sense again (depending on whether modern day computers get assigned a gender), even though it’s describing a pretty different interaction 80 years apart.
I was wondering what the next version of “computer” might be… any thoughts?
Best guess for now is that in 30-40 years, the term “driver” might be synonymous with a vehicle that gets you from A to B.
“What’s that Grandad? When you were growing up a driver was a… person.
From Tuesday-Wednesday I had a borderline flu-cold* and so to remedy had several weeks’ worth of lemon consumption in a 48 hour period.
With all this Vitamin C doing its business, it got me realising that I didn’t actually know if there was any logic behind the letter naming convention.
What is a vitamin? A vitamin is classified as an organic molecule that is an essential micronutrient. They were only officially “discovered” in 1910.
There are 13 types of vitamin: A, C, D, E, K and eight B vitamins.
What’s the naming convention? It’s quite simple really: the order in which they were discovered.
The gaps in the alphabet are because things that were initially thought of as vitamins were later declassified (or renamed to be a subseries of B vitamins, e.g. Vitamin H become B7), and by the time science had moved on and dished out new letters to everyone.
Vitamin itself is named as such after Polish scientist (great name: Professor Funk) adopted the compound for the words ‘vital’ and ‘amines’, the latter being a chemical structure that also encapsulates things like amino acids.
Isn’t Wikipedia great? The real MVP here is Wikipedia.
It’s amazing how simple this exercise was to research and have all of the important info in a concise and conveniently organised manner with just the level of detail.
I was reading a book recently set in 2000. The main character had to find out some fairly mundane information about countries near the North Pole. Their only option was to take a bus across town, walk to the public library, ask at reception where the reference shelves were, and then scour through reams of volumes to find the information they needed.
That, and how anyone arranged any sort of mildly logistically complex social activity before mobile phones, blows my mind.
* a good test is this: if you saw a £20 on the floor, would you pick it up? Yes: cold. No: flu.
I’ve had a few conversations with people recently about how it’d be nice to have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
There were lots of similarities in the conversations. We brainstormed some ideas, and so I thought I’d share the essence in the text below. For those in long-standing relationships, there’s a link for you at the bottom.
Anyway, off we go…
What are we covering here How to think strategically about getting a Significant Other. Not necessarily “the one”, but someone to write home about.
The concept of “strategising” over finding, well, love might seem sacrilege to some, but bear with me on this.
Not a numbers game One philosophy to finding someone you like is to “kiss enough frogs”.
This philosophy seems a bit crude.
Number of dates you go on/ people you speak to us undeniably a function of finding “the one”, but with finite time I’d argue it’s smarter to optimise for the other factors.
Go fishing in the right ponds If you’re going to spend a decent amount of time with this person you’re likely going to want some common interests.
To increase your likelihood of meeting people with a shared outlook on (at least some aspect of) life you can focus your attention a bit more in those places.
The good thing about this is, if you like doing said activity too, even if you don’t see anyone you like, you’ve still enjoyed doing it.
Actually cast your net To string out a fishing analogy, it’s one thing to set sail and spend time in these places where your ideal ̶c̶match will also be, but you’re much more likely to get somewhere if you’re proactive.
It’s perfectly plausible that someone you might like just bumps into you at a networking event, or sits next to you in the last free seat in the coffee shop.
However you’re much more likely to end up having a conversation with them if you, well, go up and start a conversation with them.
Speaking to… a stranger? A common reflex to notion of speaking to a random hottie in a public place is some derivative of “I could never do that, it’s so embarrassing”.
Let’s dig into this.
For most people, myself included, aversion to speaking to random people (with some potential for romantic interest) was borne in the playground.
This is most probably the worst ecosystem to do such a thing.
Everyone knows everyone, and news of your potential rejection would spread like wildfire. In a place where what other people think of you has a lot of social value, that’s risky business.
What’s more, the playground is a tough environment which promotes hardy characteristics. Even if the recipient of your ask felt complimented, there’s an incentive to be aloof, and claim the higher ground that “so-and-so asked me out”.
What’s more, there’s a finite number of people in the playground who are most likely sticking around for the foreseeable future. If you get cold feet about asking out your crush, there’s always next week.
And finally, you’re 15! Entertaining the notion of getting to “know” someone has drastically less upside compared to your older self.
All this conspires to promote a set of beliefs/ behaviours whereby if you see someone who you think you might like, your default reaction is not go and speak to them.
Real life isn’t a playground For better or for worse, the people we interact with as adults aren’t a closed-loop network.
Whereas news of a rejection would ricochet through a school/ closed community until everyone knew about it, in real life the news would just fizzle off into nothingness. No-one will really care.
Of course if you are in some sort of closed-loop network with people whose opinions you value (i.e. work colleagues) this is a consideration, though for the majority of instances there will little to no consequence to your conversation with a stranger.
And anyway, making the effort to speak to someone you think is nice will most likely give them a good feeling.
In summary Finding your other half is a probability game.
Whilst there is every chance you bump into Mr/Ms Right tomorrow, there are also things you can do stack the deck in your favour, especially considering there are finite evenings/ weekends left to meet people. (I didn’t mean this to sound that ominous, but you get the point).
1. Where would someone you like hang out? E.g. coffee shop on a Saturday morning, interesting mid-week talk, ski slopes, running club, networking event 2. Spend time in those places. Could be a commitment to go one cultural/ networking event/ fitness class a week 3. Find an excuse to speak to people you don’t know (and like the look of). Much easier (but not impossible) in a context where you can reference a shared experience. “How did you find the speaker?” (networking event) or “Are you training for any events?” (group exercise activity) > “How’s that macchiato treating you?” (coffee shop) 4. Just be normal. You’re having a conversation with another person. Whilst a small part of you might feel this is super weird, it’s not really is it. 5. Take it from there. You’ll quickly gauge if it’s something worth taking further. If not, chat to someone else, your world is bigger than the playground now
Relationship advice Now, for those in long-standing relationships who skipped over the bulk of this, the link below is to a very good article encapsulated, I feel, by the following comment:
“If you’re in a relationship that you’d like to prosper then reading this is probably the best way you could ever spend 30 minutes”
Anyway, as ever, would be interested to hear your thoughts on any of the points raised here. Do also feel free to forward it on to someone if you think it could be helpful.